Loving & Accepting Negative People

Why is it that some days we are so patient, and able to weather anything that comes our way, and then other days it just seems like every thing people say is like nails on a chalkboard... we're just irritable for no understandable reason?

The short answer is self-awareness: when you are less aware of who you are, how you're behaving, and what you're about in the moment, it's easy to slip into a narrow scope of mind, and become fixated on feeling crappy.

The old cliché tells us not only to not sweat the small stuff, but also reminds that in the end it's all small stuff. And this is honestly true of life friends; there is really nothing so huge or horrible that requires our anger, snarkiness, or panties to get all bunched up. But we forget this from time to time, and our skin seems so thin we can barely tolerate our loved ones.

We all have bad days, we're human and it's natural to experience moments of utter agitation. But it's so important to realize and know that when you're in that frame of mind you are only hurting yourself. You're wasting your precious time dwelling on bad feelings, negative mindsets, and pointless judgment.

What About Chronic Pessimists?

We all know people who seem to be addicted to negativity, confrontation, argument, judgment, and know how exhausting it can be to try to meet these people with any amount of positive thought or happiness. Yet we all owe it to ourselves and our fellow humans to try to be part of the solution, as opposed to the problem. If you have a chronic negative thinker in your life and find it drags you down, or stresses you out, then it's time to do some deep soul searching. Some new age rhetoric schools of thought would have you think that these people need to be left behind, ignored, phased out of your life, because they will only bring you down. This is new age escapism at best, judgmental on a spiritual level, and accomplishes nothing. If you remove negative people from your life, you'll end up alone, because again, it is human to feel crappy at times!

I think instead of putting negative people out of your life, it's more productive to try to meet them in a middle ground, where you can be empathetic, supportive, and try to set a positive example for them. You then challenge yourself to remain upbeat and optimistic despite their griping, and perhaps can even come to value the importance of remaining detached and emotionally balanced. We aren't meant to alienate others because they think or behave differently than us; I believe we can build bridges, and perhaps help the chronic pessimist find some new ways to think, perceive, and approach life.

This isn't to say we bash our negative friends' and their habits, because that would be putting conditions upon your friendship or relationship, which is also pointless. Rather, try to accept them as they are, while remaining true to your own desire to be a positive force in your own life.

Some ways to remain friends with negative people, while honoring your own spiritual imperatives are:

• Knowing when to respond, and when to just smile and nod


• Interject reasonable amounts of positivity into the relationship without trying to modify their behavior


• Being honest with them about how tiring their defensiveness or anger can be


• Setting up boundaries, limiting contact to casual light hearted meetings ie: meeting for coffee


• Realizing they are perceiving the world in a different way than you, and being that negative is also exhausting for them. Be empathetic, realize how hard it must be to be negative, angry, suspicious, defensive etc


• Know when you've had enough, and honor your own needs.

Too much exposure to negative people can be contagious, so it's important that you recognize your own limitations, and learn when to walk away for a breather. I find you can over time bring your loved one to a sense of understanding without really addressing the issue directly; when they broach subjects that get them into that negative mind set - change the subject. If they incessantly want to complain, bash people, or whine about their life simply redirect their thinking by changing the subject. And if that doesn't work, just be honest and say "you know what, I really am not comfortable talking about this."

There is no need to avoid or separate yourself from negative people, or drama queens, or angry folks. You can love them, appreciate them, learn about yourself through them, and define your own ideals about happiness and positive thinking through looking at how they behave as opposed to how you would behave in their situation.

At the end of the day, you'll have a relationship that while maybe not entirely emotionally nourishing, will still be a two way motion; you accepting them as they are, and them knowing on some internal level that you care enough about them to not engage their anger or negativity.

And you never know, perhaps you'll rub off on them and end up helping them attain a more level headed, middle of the road state of mind along the way. This shouldn't be your directive, because again that would be you wanting to change the person; but if it happens organically then you've contributed to the well being of someone you care for.

We know as spiritualists and self-aware seekers of truth that a negative attitude is like a snowball rolling down a hill; it gathers momentum on it's own and gets bigger and heavier as it goes. So be a ramp to those people, so their snowball of pessimistic thinking takes flight while you're with them, and perhaps lightens their load.

Above all else, if you are determined to remain in relationships with negative people, remind yourself as often as you need to not to sweat the small stuff --  there is nothing so all encompassing in life that needs you to feel badly, suspicious, negative, or judgmental about. The world has enough heavy feelings in it already, we can shine a light in the dark by being a voice of upliftment, positivity, joy, and laughter.

Keep it light - life isn't that serious, unless you make it so.

Being a True Empath: We FEEL...

We're all familiar with empathy; it's the ability to put ones self in someone else's position, imagine how they are feeling, identify with what they're experiencing, so that we can better understand them. Empathy is something most people are born with, it's an innate ability we all have, like the sense of smell, or a conscience. A few people in society have no sense of empathy, and these people are typically categorized as Narcissists, or in the worst case, Sociopaths. I wouldn't want to live without empathy, I can only feel that it would be a very narrow view of the world, worrying only about yourself, not caring about how other people feel.

Empathy is a beautiful trait and it helps us to put ourselves in someone else's shoes; empathy creates bridges of understanding through helping us to see beyond our own feelings, and allowing ourselves to get a sense of how someone else is truly feeling, being, and operating.

What I want to discuss here is not typical empathy. I know we're all familiar with empathy; what I want to talk about is being a true Empath. The term is not recognized in a literal sense by the dictionary, and in fact my first experiences of hearing the word came from watching Star Trek, TNG, through the character of Deana Troi. Yes, I'm going to appeal to your inner geek now, so bear with me as I indulge a little of my own Treki roots.  Troi, an alien being from another planet, works on the ship as the ships counselor, and her gift of true empathy allows her to not only imagine what another person feels, but to rather literally take on those feelings, so that she is actually experiencing and feeling what another is feeling.

I have met many empaths in my life, and we are all by and large the same type of people; we are vastly sensitive, often emotionally charged and passionate in our expressions of those emotions. We tend to be introverts at many points in our lives, as we can find large groups of people daunting. While society would deem us anti-social, in truth we are just hiding from the onslaught of emotional intensity around us, because we haven't yet learned to detach, and identify what is "our own", as opposed to what others are exuding.

Our lives seem to rotate around difficult experiences, which while experiencing them can feel so frightening, intense, overwhelming and unfair, but in retrospect we can all see that what ever we have endured, has been an opportunity for us to learn how to better live with our empathy in a balanced and unattached way.

How Does it Feel to be an Empath?

As a spiritualist, I generally avoid trying to speak for others. But when it comes to being an Empath, I know I can speak for all other Empaths in regards to how it feels to be so in tune with the energetic emotional frequencies of other people.

The short and simple is, if asked how it feels to be an Empath, my answer is: I feel.

Please understand that when I say I feel, I literally mean it. I don't simply imagine how another feels, I feel how they feel. Sometimes the extent of this feeling is so profound that I can get washed away in the other persons plight, becoming physically and psychologically reactive to how they are feeling. If a dear friend or loved one is hurt by someone else, I not only feel the pain they feel, the confusion, the chaos of sweeping between betrayal, sorrow, rejection, confusion, I also take that upon myself as it then becomes part of my reality. I am no longer sad for my friend, or sad with my friend, I am sad as though the pain my friend is experiencing is my own.

This is a beautiful gift much of the time; being able to put ones self directly into the reality of another person, so that you completely understand exactly how they feel, on multiple levels of emotions, physiology, psychology. And yet it can also seem and feel like a curse to Empaths, when dealing with feelings others display that relate to anger, rage, hatred, bigotry, depression etc.

The excessively negative emotions of people can be a real drain on an Empath. Many of us tend to become skillful athletes in light of this bombardment of the negativity of others, and skillfully learn to run from those situations. It can at times seem as though we are having a tantrum, or being chickens, as we just duck out completely and disown the situation, knowing we are about to be compelled into a turbulent emotional conflagration that we don't have control over. And that in truth is the crux of it; we don't have control over it, as we have not mastered detachment, and differentiation between what is "mine" versus what is "theirs".

Learning to detach is a lesson that often takes years, decades. It requires an Empath to acknowledge that they are not sufficiently handling the emotional onslaught around them.  The Empath needs to recognize that they are becoming emotionally volatile or fragile, and that they are not seeing clearly, as they are not centered. And then each day there after requires the Empath to be determined, self-aware, while being aware of external situations, people, experiences, and watching for signs that they are being "sucked into" the drama of others.

How Do You Know?

If having read this far you're not sure if you're an Empath, or not, let me clarify in great depth so that you'll really understand what an Empath experiences. I will work through analogy if I can, though as you may know I am pretty bad at that kind of parallel story-weaving. Just be patient with me, I will get there ;)

Imagine you are sitting in an empty room, on a chair. Then the door opens and in walks someone you know, someone who is very central and important in your life, and imagine they are angry. Imagine the rage rolling off them, their eyes blazing, chest heaving in anger, body twitching with agitation. Typical empathy has you stand up and ask "What's wrong??"

A true Empath begins to feel angry immediately, as their blood pressure rises, their breathing accelerates, the feel their chest tighten and their throat close into a lump. Instead of getting up and asking "Whats wrong?" the deeply attuned Empath doesn't need to ask what's wrong, they know everything is wrong. They feel it, the rage is now engulfing them too, their body has responded to the emotional download they're receiving, and now they are agitated, amped up, and being passionate and often irrational they burst from their seat, go to their loved one in a protective attempt to shelter them, and demand to know "What happened!"

On an energetic level, the Empath feels the feelings of others in waves of undulating warmth, heat, coolness and pressure as it rises within the body. It is actually rising in the spiritual Auric body, the chakras, yet it is felt vividly on the skin, in the organs, through the lungs, chest, throat, and head. The Empath does not care at this point about who or how or why as they are already embroiled in the rage coming off their loved one, they bypass the desire to know what is wrong, and hear what has led to this; they are already prepared to act, jump to action, without the facts, as they are feeling exactly as their loved one is feeling.

If you feel with that kind of intensity, depth, vastness and often uncontrolled turbulence, then you are an Empath too. If you can watch a movie, and not just cry because it was a beautiful movie, but actually feel as though you have lived the experience of the characters, identify so closely with them and their stories that you now feel as though it's a part of your own history and truth, then you are an Empath.

And if you are a true Empath, let me first give you a big energetic hug, feel my warmth, as I take you in my arms and cradle your head in my hand, and whisper into your ear "it's going to be okay..."

Learning To Detach and Center

Let me start by saying I am still working on this, daily, in earnest, as my deep empathy can still after 42 years of life drag me so deeply into the experience of others that I "lose" myself. But I work at it, daily, consciously, because I know that most of the things I feel aren't really coming from me. I know myself enough to know that who I am, when emptied of the feelings of all others, is fairly quiet, peaceful, and content. When I still myself, ground out, find center, and remove the heavy weight of energy I've absorbed during the day or week, I re-connect with who I really am.

And you can do this too my sweet sweet friend.

It begins with self-aware accountability. You must be willing in this moment to acknowledge that there is a small part of you that has somehow become "addicted" to your empathic receptivity. You have learned to become a hero to those around you, a problem solver, a "go-to" for all your friends and family, as they know when they come to you for understanding, they're going to get it, and a whole lot more! They will get validation, support, sympathy, and encouragement from someone who truly "gets them". This has either taught you to feel good when helping others through your ability to feel as they feel, or has taught you to avoid others and become isolated as it's just easier, or safer for you.

From one Empath to another, I want to tell you it can get better, but first you have to get over yourself, literally my friend, because you've taken on far too much from others, have been a fixer and manager and co-partner to too many others, and have likely spent more time focusing on "them" than on you. That is not a healthy way to live, and when you hit a low, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about, because us true Empaths hit the lows often enough. How do you expect yourself to keep taking on more and more and more of the heavy emotional energy of others, without becoming overloaded, and eventually cracking under pressure?? So just recognize it now, see it as a part of your cycle, and know you can change it. Yes - you can change your self.

It begins with those acknowledgements, and then it continues with determined self-aware observation.

How Does Observing Help??

If the oath of the Empath is "I feel", then the oath of the balanced Empath is "I observe".

As I often tell my clients, and friends and family, being an Empath is like being in a hurricane. The storm is the emotions of everyone around us in the world. Those emotions rage, spin out of control, create havoc and can lead to ruin. And yet, the Empath can choose to step into the eye of the storm. The eye of the storm is the calm center, and from this place of center, you can look in all directions and observe the storm, and yet remain calm within the neutrality of observational detachment, and not get blown away.

Get familiar with finding the eye - or "Center". Center is essential to human beings, no matter who they are, if they're Empaths, spiritualists or not. Center is balance. And when balanced in our own Center, we can see the storms raging around us in the world, and feel for them, care compassionately, and yet stay calm, think rationally, accept that some people are creating the storm on their own and do not need your help in making it rage harder.

So Empath, my sweet too-deeply feeling soul-kin, I urge you to find your own center, and each day as you wake, make it a point to affirm that "today I will observe, and breathe, and not react without first being neutral, sensible, and unattached to the feelings of all others."

This will be an ongoing lesson in your life, as you cannot expect yourself to change overnight. I have been consciously working at Empathy detachment for about 15 years now. Some days are better than others. Some days I forget, and get embroiled in the drama around me, or create enough of my own to get lost in. And yet the next day I can wake with clarity and review yesterdays behaviors, see how I let my Empathy get tossed around in the storm, own it, be accountable for my own part in it, then strive towards again finding Center, neutrality, and focusing on what is "mine", and only "mine".

Use your Empathy in positive ways, to help others find affirmation, hope, direction, and resolve. Do not use your Empathy to feel sorry for others, or help them add bricks to their wall of shame. Practise this, every day, in every way, and if you fall down, get back up dust yourself off, and continue on without a need or desire to put yourself down.

I am an Empath; I feel. Intensely, deeply, vividly, painfully, blissfully, wholly and fully. And I wish you the most blessed of experiences with your own Empathy. As always, I am here to talk to you, should you wish to talk about this further, or just need a friend.

What Would Love Do? Changing Your Reactions

Over the years that I've been reading Tarot for clients, and assisting people with self-awareness and awakening, one issue has kept resurfacing again and again; almost everyone I've ever had the pleasure to work with has wanted to know, "How do I attain peace, and stop getting sucked into drama in life?"

It's a subject we all grapple with in life, no matter if you are spiritual, religious, or an atheist; how do we simply disconnect from the drama all around us and just live in peaceful calm?

It seems like an insurmountable obstacle at first, and to be honest it does take time; lots of time, because people are easily swept away in the emotions of others around them, and human beings operate under a rather "gang mentality", we tend to get extremely embroiled by the events occurring around us and can find ourselves over reacting to any number of big, or small circumstances. But it is this over-reactionary type of behavior that robs one of peace, and magnifies problems making them more than they truly are.

The first step anyone will want to make when consciously deciding to be a peaceful person, is to assert to yourself that you have some very bad habits which need to be broken, and corrected. Negative thinking, and jumping to conclusions are indeed habits, and ones which only intensify if we let them. We weren't born with so many hot button opinions, or red flag issues that can "set us off", we develop these attitudes and mindsets as we grow, and watch and mimic others in our life behaving as they do. If you grew up with loud boisterous parents and family, chances are you're loud and boisterous yourself, and this isn't a bad thing, it's simply part of your "conditioning". So in deciding to make peace your touchstone, you have to commit to the idea that you have some behavioral and thinking habits which just don't reflect who you want to be. It isn't about feeling ashamed of who you are, or how you react to life's experiences, it is simply getting into the head-space of being self aware.

Make a list, as often writing these things down helps us better understand who we are, and on that list write down the attitudes and behaviors you feel you lack control or discipline over, which you would like to change. For me personally, my list has changed a lot through the years, as I continue to look more deeply at who I am, in comparison to who I'd like to be. My list would look something like:

• Let anxiety or fear determine how I feel about a situation before I have all the facts.


• Often let fear express itself as anger.


• Don't always listen intently to others, as I'm so eager to state my own feelings and thoughts.

My list would go on, and on and on, but let's cap it off there for starters. When you've written down your list of behaviors, and attitudes or bad habits you feel you want to change but struggle with, then commit it to memory, because this is where transformation truly begins.

What Would Love Do?

Whenever I'm faced with an issue or situation in which I feel my negative behaviors and reactions bubbling to the surface I find it imperative to stop and do a couple key things first:

• First and foremost I breathe - deeply - when you stop breathing you limit your brains ability to be the vital thinking and analysis machine it is.


• I then take a few moments while breathing deeply and ask myself "What would love do?"

Love simply radiates peace and calm, and it is easy to feel love while we are in a peaceful environment, yet when life throws a curve it is so easy to lose sight of Love, and get caught up in strong emotions. So as soon as something occurs which challenges your peace, like someone confronts you, or you are treated unjustly, or someone does something that just really ticks you off, rather than jumping into an emotional state of fight or flight, just breathe and try to imagine how the most loving of all beings would deal with the situation? You know how you would deal with it typically, by becoming embroiled in an emotional state of reaction. So the key is to do something different, to attempt to retrain your thoughts and responses to adversity or negativity. What would love do?

Love will always do what love always does; accept, create space for the other, understand, feel compassion, turn the other cheek (choose your "battles") and generally rise above the ego's need to be right, or satisfied by it's own cleverness. Love will always choose the higher moral road, and in this way, we know Love is right because of the feelings we have within us when we are being and doing as Love would be and do.

You know how it feels to get your panties in a wad, right? You feel your chest tighten, as your breathing accelerates, and your muscles clench, and your fists ball up; you feel your heart rate increase, as you begin to go into counter-attack mode. The responses your body gives you when you're in this reactionary state of being are all good indicators that you are not aligned with a higher state of being and thinking, because it is not healthy or natural to feel so tense, anxious, or eager for a confrontation.

But when you get into the mindset of being as Love would be, your breathing deepens, you relax your limbs and muscles, your stress washes off of you, and this is your body letting you know that you are on the "right path".

A dear friend of mine is a power house of energy; I call her a spitfire, she's very empathetic, and clairvoyant, and incredibly spiritually gifted. However she is sorely un-centered, and as a result she can get caught up in other peoples drama very easily, or rise to anger or sadness quickly, because she has no control over her inner peace. This is something she is working on, with a tonne of self-awareness, and a desire to be the Love she feels within her. I commend her for endeavoring to rise above her previous condition of emotional turbulence, as she knows that peace, center, and calm will not only serve her better, but also her family. This is a huge part of a spiritual awakening, because we live in a society and time in which people have very little control of their own emotions. It's difficult for an empath to operate in modern society as people are just out of emotional control, and can be dreadfully rude, boorish, and selfish by and large. So to dedicate ones-self to this level of self-aware behavior modification is a testament to the Spirit within you, and the journey you are consciously taking.

I don't know that any of us will ever master peace, or if that is possible while having a 3D existence in which we have to work, raise families, deal with every day problems and the complexities of life on planet Earth. But we can each of us take responsibility for our own emotional responses to life. Could you imagine a planet on which no one ever jumps to conclusions again? Where people gather the facts before becoming enraged, and polarized and sucked into drama, arguments, fights and judgment? How amazing that planet would be, where people could simply live and let live, truly.

Choosing peace, and to be as Love is, is a statement to the Universe as well; you are saying "I am dedicated to being a spiritually balanced being of Love, and know it does not serve me or anyone to let my emotions and fears run roughshod over my life."

So you've made your list, and have a general idea of what it is you'd like to work on improving about yourself, and your reactions to life's unexpected and yet all too plentiful challenges. You understand that you can either keep reacting the way you always have, which will rob you of peace, or you can rise above your petty ego, and childish fears and inadequacies, and strive to let Love be your true north. The next step is to live it - every day. In every way.

How Do You Maintain This Peaceful Outlook?

Affirmations, reminders, daily goals and an internal dialogue with yourself will help you change those bad habits into a new state of thinking, being, and doing. At first it will be something you need to remind yourself of, often. Getting into the practice of breathing immediately facing a challenge is a great first step, in those moments you are breathing you can assess the situation, and your own physical reaction to it, and then just take a step back, and observe the situation from a detached perspective. Remember to keep all things in perspective too, as while something can feel like a huge problem in the moment, hindsight often reveals that whatever had us up in arms was nothing more than a minor conflagration of emotions clashing, or a situation which wasn't as dire as we initially thought. In breathing, and giving yourself a few moments to take stock, and find a Loving and peaceful perspective from which to proceed, you give yourself an advantage; you literally rise above the situation so that you can be calm while dealing with whatever the crisis or problem is.

Soon you will find you need less affirmation, or daily goals, as your responses will naturally alter with practice, and repetition; eventually you will not be trying to be as Love, but you simply will be as Love.

So the next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or cuts in front of you at the checkout stand; the next time someone goes ape and starts a fight with you, or the phone rings with bad news, take some deep cleansing breaths, ask yourself "ok, how would Love handle this situation?" and then follow your hearts guidance.

There is truly no situation on this planet that needs you to fly off the handle and get all riled up. All you do accomplish by becoming embroiled in drama or emotional warfare is to add to your own stress, which is not good for the heart, and often end up feeling foolish afterwards after your temper has cooled off. So skip the theatrics, tell your ego it simply isn't in charge of your responses to life's adverse challenges anymore, and just remember to breathe. That is what Love would have you do.

In Great Love,

Answer Hate with Love: As "outside" so "Within"

This world in which we live is full of duality, so much of our reality hangs on the balance between "good" and "bad", "happy" and "sad", "love" and "hate"; is it any wonder we can end up confused, depressed, and feeling like life is just too much at times?

Turn on the news and you'll see so many negative stories, senseless killings, wars, natural disasters, all of these stories creating yet more fears within. The news seldom shares the uplifting stories that occur every day in our society. News depend upon ratings, and in this day and age sensational headlines are what get viewers interest; we are all so desensitized to the brutality in our world that it has become commonplace to hear troubling news stories and simply look away, go about our lives, pay it very little mind.

Yet we are part of a dynamic and symbiotic planet, in which we are all connected via the air we breathe, the space we inhabit, the plants and animals and people on this world are all interconnected by virtue of the things we all share; oxygen, sunlight, water, and the will to live.

So as a Lightworker, or a new age Spiritualist, how can we live amid the turmoil on planet Earth, while still nurturing Spirit, and staying centered and balanced within a sense of inner peace? It is simple in reality, and yet takes daily affirmation, repetition, and a retraining of ones own habits and thoughts, because the truest truth any of us can know and share is that we cannot attempt to "fix" the things that are wrong on this planet, until we "fix" that which requires our attention within. Individually, we each have our own inner worlds, where our past memories reside, and many of those memories have shaped us and made us into the people we are currently being. In order to evolve and grow beyond our past experiences we have to be willing to let it go, and move consciously into this moment.

This moment, is the only moment that matters, as the past is but a distant echo, and the future is unfolding moment by moment based on who we are being, how we are feeling and behaving, in this very moment. Realizing this, and truly grasping it as more than a simple concept enables you to really understand that the only significant time in your life is the one you are experiencing right now. And here, in this moment, you have the power to heal your past hurts, let go of anger, hurt, and betrayal, and move into the next moment unfettered, and free to begin shining a Light upon the world around you.

When you begin to experience a Spiritual Awakening, no matter what your beliefs may be, you begin to understand that your relationship to all life, the Universe, and God Him/Her Self is internal, intimate, and beyond the minds comprehension. This is a relationship that blossoms in the heart, and flows through your Crown and Brow chakras. When one is open and receptive to this type of communion with Spirit, then everything rather falls into place.

It is easy when you are in a higher place of receptivity and Light and compassion, to see that while the world is definitely full of darkness, and there is danger and evil of all types in our communities and societies, nothing can diminish the peace you carry within you. This is the basis of true faith; knowing that no matter what goes on outside of yourself, nothing can sever the tie you have to your bliss, your faith, your love and your Light. When you realize that no matter what is done to or through you, that no one will ever be able to rob you of your peace, your joy, your compassion, and your connection to Spiritual Love, then you free yourself to see the rest of our reality for what it is; a grand and bizarre illusion.

This is essentially what life is; a grand stage on which mankind acts out every possible scenario under the sun, in order to experience the fullness of living, in all shades and shapes of life's infinite and boundless options. We come into this world with free will; indeed the Universe gifts us with the ability to choose whatever it is we wish to experience. Yet so many people feel that they are victims of fate, or destiny, and rather than taking an active creative roll in their lives, they spend their whole life feeling as though others control their time, their responsibilities, their morality and their behavior.

Yet when you encounter a truly deep and poignant relationship with Spirit, you realize that you are free to rewrite your story, any time you want, as many times as you want, in order to live the life you truly yearn to live.

This is the gift of free will! If you dislike what you see in the world around you, then look within, because the key to making changes outside of ourselves is to first make those changes within. We are all familiar with the old adage "As Above, so Below" which simply means that whatever the saints and angels and ascended beings can experience in higher dimensional frequencies of existence, so may we here on this 3 dimensional planet, by raising our frequency (through meditation, intention, self-aware introspection), well it also applies to "As outside, so within". What you see in the world is what is mirrored to get your attention within yourself. If you see things that trouble you about people, humanity, behavior, then look within and be certain you are not somehow contributing to that condition or expression of behavior. Only then will you truly be able to examine the thing that has your attention, from a loving place of detachment and compassion and empathy, thereby making you readily able to then point your healing outwards towards the issue itself.

To make an attempt at analogy, which we all know I am horrendous at *grin*, it would be like an Oncologist (doctor who specializes in Cancers) who smokes, being angry at patients who don't do everything they can to get better.

In this way, we must be willing to examine ourselves, and see if we are somehow part of the global problem, and if we find aspects of who we are, or what we do or think, that is contributing to an external problem, then healing it, changing ones mind, and willfully becoming a part of the solution.

If you, like myself, watch the news and are sickened by what you see happening in Israel and this time, and with regards to the terror cell ISIS, then I urge you to stop seeing this issue as external of yourself. Because it isn't, nothing that takes place on Earth is external from ourselves - we are all connected. I am deeply saddened and scared by people who will take another's life seemingly so easily to prove some political or religious point. So I look within, and I find a fear within me of fundamental religion, zealots, people who are so driven by their own beliefs that they are prepared to kill and die for them. And it reminds me of who I have been in my past, while awakening and experiencing my Spirituality in my twenties, and how sure I was that I had found "the" answers, and knew "the" truth. I was rather arrogant in my faith at that tender time in my life, and in that way I can identify with those who I fear, because I know how it feels to be absolutely sure that I'm right.

Understanding this I can now in all humility let that go, realizing I've grown beyond that egotistical need to feel superior through my beliefs, and then feel compassion, and pity, and even love for those who are exploiting the freedom and lives of others to further their own personal beliefs.

So while I do not condone their behavior, and I surely have no long-term solutions to what is going on in the Middle East, I have compassion, and a generalized sense of understanding of how it feels to be a religious zealot and fanatic. And this makes it easier for me to humanize the terrorists, and see them as people who have been indoctrinated, their minds warped by their own religious teachers and mentors, and I can pray for their souls to awaken to love, compassion, and civilized behavior.

In this way I change my own ideas about ISIS, sending out love rather than anger or fear or hate. And in this way I become part of the solution, rather than the problem. Because answering hate with hate is like trying to put out a fire by dumping gasoline on it.

We all have the ability to go within, examine our own motives, understand our own agendas, and see our ego and how it often gets into heated dramatic situations because it simply hates being wrong! And when you identify your ego, learn to laugh at it, and become more capable of gently shutting your ego down when it wants to own the spotlight, then you claim freedom; the freedom to be the Soul and being of Light you are.

So while we may not be able to "fix" the worlds problems, we certainly can contribute in a positive way by praying for humanity, understanding all sides, seeing through compassionate eyes, and answering hate with love. Love is the most valuable asset any of us have, it is our birth right, and it is where we come from, and where we are destined to return to. So when something "outside" of yourself compromises your peace, or your inner love, face it, explore it, identify with it, and then heal it with love, empathy, and self-awareness.

I wish you the utmost Peace & Love, always.

Attracting Money & Healing Abundance Blocks

I have been studying Reiki for a few weeks now and have received my Reiki level 1 Certification which is very exciting! I am performing self-healing every day now, working towards my level 2, and am anticipating great things as I begin to work with others, both hands on, and doing distance energy work. As part of my Reiki training I promised myself I would walk through any open doors, and receive any opportunities that were presented to me. So naturally, when I received an invitation to attend an online web seminar (webinar) about increasing your personal wealth through clearing Abundance Blocks, I accepted the invitation and made sure I would be free to watch online.

The webinar was extremely informative and valuable, and though I ended up leaving it before it was completely finished, I gained what I needed, and now would like to share it with you. Why did you leave early though, Dee, you may be asking? Well simply put, after the energy work portion of the webinar ended, the energy shifted as the hostess gave examples of her clients who had succeeded using her program, and as I looked to the website she had provided I saw the "catch"; of course there was a catch! It wasn't anything nefarious, and I am not putting the program she offers down, I just don't personally have an extra thousand dollars sitting around to spend on energy work to help me release my "abundance blocks". However, knowing what I do about energy, chakra's, healing and releasing blocked and stuck energy, I am confident we are all capable of removing these blocks ourselves, and change the way we think, feel, and act about money and wealth and abundance.

So let me share what I have picked up tonight, and also add my own intuitive spin, as I attempt to simplify the process of deprogramming your pre-conceived thoughts and notions about abundance, money, and work. Because let's face it, we've all been programmed and conditioned by our parents, our extended family, society, and experience to believe it is difficult to attract abundance, as well as developing other negative ideas or beliefs about what it "takes" to be financially free.

Let me start by talking about energy, chakra's, and the auric body, just to be sure we're all on the same page.

What Is Energy Work?

First let's understand the Chakra's, which is a sanskrit word meaning 'wheels of light'; these are numerous and plentiful, however many energy workers focus primarily on the first seven chakra's which are connected to the physical body and aura.

The Chakra's are a part of our spiritual body, or etheric soul, and when we are out of spiritual alignment or "center" our Chakra's can become blocked, by negative energy, or become weaker and less stable or productive. When you see an energy healer, such as a Reiki Master, or Shaman etc. they will address these blocks within your energetic body, cleanse them, and heal them so that your spiritual body renews itself with vigor, balance, and love. And as the spiritual body is directly related to our physical body, we can also have blocks arise due to physical illness, injury, or even suffer illness or injury due to a Chakra block or impediment. So hopefully you better understand the Chakra's now, and should you require more information please look here.

Energy workers are intuitive or empathic people who can work with the energy within and around you to help you heal and rebalance your Chakras. The word Reiki simply means "Sacred Life Energy", and a Reiki healer will help you to cleanse any blockages in your Chakra's, and then heal and invigorate them so that they are brightly working in tandem with one another again.

How Do We Get Blocks?

A blockage in your Chakra body is something we all experience, often enough, and its easy to understand how it happens when you begin to see how your energetic body is connected to your physical body. Negative thoughts can cause a blockage in your Chakra's. For example, let's say your significant other broke up with you tonight, out of nowhere, just came to you and said "I don't love you anymore, I'm leaving". How would that make you feel? Betrayed, rejected, hurt, confused to say the least? These feelings can create an energetic block which would then affect your bottom Chakra's, possibly even your throat Chakra if you do not get to express how you feel in response. This block can then sit in your chakra, like an icky black goo or residue, and sort of turn into sludge, which when not healed and acknowledged can fester, and literally cause an energetic block for years, if not your whole life. This can lead to depression, as your energy stops flowing smoothly through your body, and can actually lead to physical illnesses down the road. Everything from your self-esteem, to your perception of the world, to your physical health can suffer due to a blockage in your Chakral system. But clearing and healing your Chakra's is really so very simple, and it's something you can learn to do for yourself!

How Do You Heal Chakra's?

Let's say you're meditating, and thinking about, or visualizing (if you're able to) your Chakra's, and you get a feeling, or smell, or taste or see that there is something just not "quite right" with one of them. What do you do? Stay calm, and ask for healing Light to be sent to the Chakra, so that it may be cleansed, cleared of blocks, and healed. It's truly as simple as that my dear soul.

Using the assistance of a certified energy healer is also very helpful, as often a Reiki practitioner or healer will have the intuitive ability to see deeper into your Chakra's to things you may not be able to detect yourself, and have been trained to work with healing symbols, sounds, and frequencies, in order to help you come back into divine balance.

Close your eyes for a moment, breathing in through your nose, exhaling through your mouth, and think about your Root Chakra. It is red, and it is at the end of your tail bone, or at your pubic bone. If you can't see in your minds eye, then imagine eating something red like a strawberry. Or hearing the wail of a firetruck siren. Anything that helps you get in to the vibration of the color red. Now listen to your intuition as you examine your Root chakra; what do you feel? Do you get any emotional responses, or does your body respond with spasms, jerks, yawns etc. Any kind of response you get is an indication as to the status of that particular Chakra. If your intuition tells you something is "off", then explore it, explore the feelings you have within you about that particular Chakra, if a bad memory surfaces, let it, because your Chakra is showing you what caused the blockage, and then you'll know what you need to acknowledge and release in order to bring that Chakra into alignment and healthy vibrancy. Do this with each of your Chakra's, using the chart above if necessary.

Now I'm going to assume that you're on the same page, and understand your energetic body well enough to continue to the meat and potatoes of this post :)

What Is An Abundance Block?

From the day we are born, we are for lack of a better term "brainwashed" by those around us, or you could say "conditioned", to become who our parents and society believe we should become. We are taught what to believe, how to behave, and how to think. At some point in our early years, we are taught what to believe regarding religion, education, politics etc. Well we are also taught how to feel about money, whether we are aware of it or not. Maybe you grew up hearing daddy complain about how hard he had to work, or your parents bickering about bills, or not being able to afford this, and that.

Abundance Blocks are subconscious barriers we have created in our thinking, which sabotage our ability to create and attract abundance, wealth, prosperity. 

Were you taught that "money is the root of all evil" at some point in your past? Did you grow up seeing rich people as greedy, exploitative? Somewhere in your past, were you imprinted to believe that with money comes great risk, responsibility, and it changes you to become someone unethical or cruel? These are all thinking processes which cause blocks to your abundance abilities. And something which I am myself beginning to understand, and wish to share with you, is that God, the Source, Creator/Universe (whatever you wish to call it) doesn't want us to struggle, or lack, or go without. The Source of Love wants us to experience a rich and diverse life, and to generate our wishes, our dreams, and follow our hearts!

Something I learned years ago, but still do struggle with really truly getting on an energetic level is this: Money is simply an energetic way of saying "thank you" to someone who has helped you in some way, or an energetic way of being thanked for a job well done! It isn't the cornerstone of our being, and shouldn't be the focus, however it isn't evil, or wrong, and having it won't make you into some greedy megalomaniac! One thing the woman in the webinar said tonight that stuck with me was this:

Money doesn't change who you are, "money turns up the volume of who you already are." What she meant was that if you're a kind and generous person, and you all of a sudden come into great wealth, then you're a kind and generous person with the new found ability to share that generosity with others through acts of philanthropy. If you're a miserable person without money, you'll still be a miserable person with it. Money isn't what changes people, it's their thoughts about money that do.

Did you grow up believing you have to work your butt off to achieve any kind of financial freedom? That you'd have to work hard your whole life to hopefully retire and have a few good "golden" years? This is more flawed thinking which we were conditioned to believe in, which contributes to Abundance Blocks.

Let me list a few bullet points that focus on how we become blocked:

• you have to work hard to be a success


• nothing comes easily in this life


• if it seems to good to be true it probably is


• money makes people greedy and un-trusting


• having money is too great a responsibility


• you wouldn't know who truly loves you for you if you had a lot of money


• spiritual people don't need money or things to be happy

These are all cliche's which we have been taught, or conditioned to believe from the day we were born. And who says Spiritual people are less spiritual if they have money? How many beautiful places on this planet can you visit and see if you don't have money? Wouldn't you be better able to enjoy the world our Creator has gifted us with if you had unlimited resources? It is not wrong, or depraved, or greedy or arrogant to want to have unlimited wealth available to you. I'm not saying we should all start trying to manifest millions, so we can all have yachts and summer homes on the Cape; what I am saying is that too many of us think very small thoughts about ourselves, our worth, and our destiny, and it is possible to change the way we think, feel, and heal any blocked energy within our energetic body.

How Can We Change Our Thoughts?

This is where it gets a little tricky, because our thoughts are very deeply ingrained, and culturally enforced. It isn't easy to accept that we are worthy, we are supported, and we deserve abundant happiness, joy, and success. We weren't raised to believe these things! Most of us grew up hearing we had to work hard, study hard, work hard hard hard! And after all that hard work IF you were lucky, maybe you'd be able to retire by age 65 and spend a few relaxing years before you died.

Isn't that fundamentally flawed thinking? Don't you think?

God/Source does love us, each of us, and does want us to create the best, happiest, and most abundant life we can for ourselves. God doesn't want any of us to struggle, or worry, or go without in this life and the reason we end up struggling, worrying, and going without is not because of God, but because of our hardwired thinking, faulty logic, and lack of understanding about who we are in Gods eyes. All life is energetic, we are all intrinsically connected, the water in the oceans, the leaves on the trees, lightning in the skies, comets in the cosmos, all things are all connected via energy; Light. This Light is the eternity of all things, the Source, our Creator. And our Creator wants us to enjoy this experience of being alive!

Repeat after me: My true life purpose includes living abundantly. The Universe wants me to be abundant and happy. It will show me my blocks again and again until I clear them.

By showing your blocks again and again, the Universe will keep delivering you what you believe you deserve; so if you don't think you're worth a significant amount of freedom, joy, relief, and material liberty, then you'll keep struggling. And believe me, I'm right there with you!

I remember the day it happened for me; I mean yes I grew up hearing my own parents moan about money, but there was a pivotal day, when I was maybe 19 years old. I was at work, working late, and the cleaning lady came in to the office. She was an older Italian lady, very cute and sweet, and I loved her accent. We would chit chat frequently, and one day she out of nowhere took my hand, looked at my palm and said very matter of factly "You will never come into money, no no, you will have to work very very hard if you ever want to have money!" At the time I blew the experience off, as we're wont to do.

Yet, all these many years later, her prophecy has rung true. Why is that, do you suppose? Did she see my future? Anybody who knows me as a reader, or as a friend, knows that I don't believe we have one set in stone future, but rather we are creating our reality with each choice we make, moment by moment. So no, I do not believe she saw my future. I believe she saw a possibility, or a probability, or a smudge on my hand (tongue in cheek giggle there folks) and she told me something that I took to heart.

This is an abundance block - and one I can now work on cleansing, and healing. But it won't be as simple as just sending healing energy to my Chakra's, because I will have to change my own thoughts, feelings and beliefs about it.

The woman in the webinar had a really neat way of reprogramming ourselves, and I want to quote her because I just liked it a lot! When I work on overcoming this particular abundance block I'm going to say "I now delete and clear this old thought: across all time dimension space and reality - I invite light in to wash away all those patterns and habits and limits!"

Cute right? I like it, so I'm going to use it, it's simple, and it will help me to see this detrimental thought as a concept I can easily delete - get rid of, like some bad text on my computer - just delete and it's gone!

Here is an exercise we were given in the webinar, try it out yourself, you may find you want to start doing this each day.

Abundance Block Clearing Exercise:

Get into your receptive meditative space now, breathing deeply in through the nose, out through the mouth. Raise your vibration now, to your higher frequency, the one where you're in touch with your divine wisdom.

See, sense, know and allow the Light to enter your crown Chakra, and ask the Light to cleanse your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about lack, limitations, and struggling.

Allow the Light into your eyes, to cleanse your vision, to take away visions of lack, and to give you new clarity about abundance.

Allow the Light into your ears so that you may now receive true wisdom, hear good guidance, and know the way to abundance.

Bring the Light now into your throat, so that you speak your highest Light and Love, and express joy, abundance and bliss!

Now see the Light in your heart, where you can ask it to cleanse any feelings of lack, loss, sorrow, limits.

Draw the Light to your Solar Plexus, where it heals old hurts, frees negative thinking, and lets you know you are always supported.

See the Light move into your Sacral Chakra, removing your fear of being powerless, fear of failure or giving up, and letting you know you deserve and are capable of great things!

Move the Light now to your Root, ridding you of a sense of lack, or inability to step into your power.

Move the Light down your legs, through your feet, into the earth below you, let it move deeper and deeper into the Earth until it's at the core of the Earth where it can be nurtured with mothers Love. Leave the Light rooted there inside Earths protective core, and follow it now back up through the earth, into your feet, legs, back up your spine and out your Heart Chakra where you will now watch it move up and down bathing you in sacred radiating Light in 360 degrees. You are surrounded above and below - by Love, healing Light, as it rises, and expands around you, growing larger and larger, until you are entirely surrounded by this cleansing miraculous Light which heals all of your blocks, and connects you to the truth of the Source, and true unconditional LOVE.

Realize in this space you now hold that you are worthy of every good thing you can conceive of! All of humanity is! You are loved, and unlimited in Gods eyes, and the only limitations you have upon you are the ones you put there yourself, or allowed others to put into place through ignorance and lack of understanding about Love.

Release all negative attachments, and affirm to yourself that: "I am a magnet for positive energy, positive experiences, and abundance! I attract health and wealth and joy and love!" Make this your mantra, as you do this exercise daily, and lets see if we can retrain ourselves, together -- to start receiving the miraculous abundance of the Universes love for us!

Dealing With Specific Blocks:

As you become comfortable with this exercise, you may want to get more specific, because as you go deeper you'll realize these implanted or imprinted thoughts we were forced to believe when we were younger are plentiful! You may discover new blocks each time you meditate, and that's ok, simply clear it, release it, understand where it came from, how you developed it, who in your life taught you to think that way, then bless it and release it and cleanse it.

Money is simply a piece of paper by which we thank each other for goods, services, and acts we perform. When I give a Tarot reading, and accept a payment, I am saying "you're welcome" to the person who is saying "thank you" by handing me a payment. There is no wrong in accepting a payment for work you perform, any more than there is anything wrong in giving someone money for performing a task or service for you!

I'm going to add this to my nightly Reiki routine, to see how I can overcome my own abundance blocks, and I hope you'll add it to your own routine as well! And please do stay connected, and let me know how it's going. Have you been using a technique like this already? Have you got more insight to share? I'd love to hear from you!

I wish you the most abundant life you can live - NOW - Today! In this moment - you deserve all of your dreams to come true, and you deserve to FEEL deserving of all of this and more.

In Great Love,

Abuse: Healing Through Honest Acceptance

I will begin this post with something of a disclaimer, or a warning; the following post will be personal, intimate, painful, and raw. If you are not in a good place energetically, I suggest you stop here.

I am about to share with you a part of me, my childhood, and my life, which is the hardest thing to share, and though I will not go into details, or even name names, it is going to be hard for me to write, and I can only guess how difficult it may be for you to read.

When I was younger, in my teens, I began to drink, and do drugs, as my home life was unbearable. I was growing up in an alcoholic environment, and there was abuse which taught me to run away, avoid, always be one step ahead of calamity. I drank heavily into my mid twenties, until i no longer desired that kind of life, and stopped. Full stop.

And I knew depression, heavy and deep depression, all encompassing pain which would well up inside of me, and bring me to my knees. Every year in the fall I would become sullen, empty, and eventually learned about seasonal depression, and this "explained" my depression.

I knew, from an early age, that somewhere in my past there had been a moment, in which my innocence had been violently stripped from me. I was not sure where it originated, or by whom, but I always knew, somewhere between foster care, adoption, and a life of so little control as a young girl, that someone had violated my innocence and taken something very dear, and indeed sacred to me.

I went through my life avoiding and running away from adversity, and I learned to use food, drugs, and alcohol to numb my pain. Though I eventually turned away from drinking and drugs, food remained my addiction, my source of comfort. I have lived with this addiction since i was about 9 or 10 years old. And now I completely understand why.

I understand everything now; in looking back with true clarity for the first time today, I see how my life all hinged on the axis of this one particular night, when I was so young, when someone who I trusted, who should have been my protector, turned into my molester. One autumn night, timing, and poor choices led to someone I trust hurting me in a way no child ever deserves to be hurt.

The next day, this person knew I was sad, confused, feeling shamed and raw, and they took me to McDonald's to cheer me up. And this was the day I learned how to use food to sooth myself.

I received my level 1 Reiki certification yesterday, and have been performing self-healing on myself for about a week or two now. I knew on some deep level within me that allowing this powerful healing into myself was going to open certain floodgates; memories I have never felt ready for were going to surface. And yet, the faith I have within me was sure that all would happen in it's perfection, and I would be ready.

Today I woke up feeling ill, and supposed it was just another fibromyalgia day. How many days have I lost to the phantom flu-like symptoms of this nervous system disorder? I was prepared to be rendered fairly inadequate for the day, so I showered, took my medication and went to lay down again. And my mind was going back down certain lanes of my memory which I did not feel good about. Any time my mind has traveled those paths, I have fought it, and changed my thoughts, and decided consciously just not to "go there". And it's happened often enough in my life, where I have begun to connect to those memories, and those pains, and have decided that I was not ready, and so closed myself off from it completely.

Yet today, I knew I had to go with it. I said "i am not ready" and yet knew, I could no longer fight my history.

You see, something horrible happened to me when I was too young to know how horrible it truly was, and the next few decades of my life were spent in a cliche attempt to forget, numb the pain, disassociate from it, and try to be happy. But ignoring the past does not change it.

I opened myself to Reiki as I lay in bed, and began to work with my hands, and my chakra's, and began to have flashes of my childhood, good ones, and then confusing ones, and I knew... I knew it was coming, brimming so close to the surface, and so I finally surrendered.

And I remembered. Somebody I loved, indeed still do love very much, made a very selfish and stupid decision, and changed the course of both of our futures that night. This person did something vile to someone who they had sworn to protect, and cherish, and then instead of trying to make the situation right, they did what so many people often do when they disappoint themselves; they fell into a pattern of abuse, neglect, and anger. This person became a heavy drinker, and never let me feel safe around them again. This person transformed over the following years, going from my Knight in shining armor, to my greatest fear; this person punished me, every day from that point on, for their mistake.

I am forty-two years old, remembering a poignantly painful thing which happened over thirty years ago, and in looking back I can now, for the first time ever in my adult life, completely understand who I have become, in light of that violation. After that night, when my innocence was shattered, I began to change, began to become rebellious, depressed, scared, and confused. I was lost. And I have been mostly lost since then. For three more decades; most of the choices I made in my life were spun on the dime of that one petty selfish act.

I continued using food to numb my pain, and learned to punish my self, and my body, for the shame I felt so deeply inside of myself. I always knew, and remembered, so close to the surface of my consciousness what had happened, and yet stuffed it down, not wanting to really truly remember, because I was afraid that if I let the memories in, I would go completely crazy. Literally.

Well I remember, and I am not crazy. I have not fallen apart today. I want you to know, that even though I have remembered who... I am alright. I spoke with my husband for a couple of hours, and he loved me unconditionally through my tears, my recollections, and we talked about now, and moving forward, and healing from this trauma. And I know I am blessed to be loved by this man, who would never hurt me, or our child, or anybody; he is gentle, and kind, and noble. I am thankful that he is in my life, especially now, at this time while this memory surfaces, because his love is a great part of what will help me heal and move on.

I forgive the person who hurt me. Truly; I know it sounds cliche, but I cannot be angry at them. That person led a very empty sad life from that night onward, and punished themselves in ways I could never, and I feel pity, and even compassion for them.

Yet a small part of me, I guess the very human part of me can't help but feel shame, as though this were somehow my fault. I know it couldn't be, I did not ask to be violated, I did not want to be hurt. Yet I can't help but feel just a small amount of guilt, which leads to feelings of being dirty, unworthy, and repugnant.

I guess anyone who has been sexually abused by a trusted adult would understand this feeling.

I know that working with Reiki energy is going to open me up to further pain that I have locked up deeply inside of myself. That's ok, I think I am finally ready at this point in my life, to withstand reliving those pains, in order to free myself. Finally.

Because to be honest, I've really done very little but punish myself since that night. I didn't realize it until today; I have done a lot of things to hurt myself, to compound that pain, because I was so young when it happened, it simply didn't make sense, I felt deeply in my heart I must have done something bad to deserve it. I know this is foolishness of course, but some part of my inner child has lived with that precise guilt for over 30 years - I must have done something horrible to deserve to be hurt in that manner, by a person who I loved so deeply.

So now that I've faced it, acknowledged it, I guess I have no choice but to start accepting it, and letting it go. I am not good at letting go; I have never been good at letting myself off the hook. I am hard on myself, and punish myself so often, never living up to my lofty expectations of myself. And yet, I know I am a good person, a kind and empathetic woman, who tries to help others in ways she has never truly tried to help herself. If I gave myself an ounce of the compassion, guidance, and love that I give my Tarot clients, my spiritual seekers... this has to be the next step; beginning to give to myself what I have with held for so long; forgiveness.

I will have to find a support group, or see a therapist, as this is something I'm going to have to work out on various levels within me. Writing it here is a beginning, a first step, yet I know this pain is so raw inside of me that i will have to administer doses of healing upon it, and if I keep it locked up within me then I am punishing myself, all over again. To hide it is to be ashamed of it, and I've been ashamed for a very long time.

But I didn't ask to be molested. No one does. And while I continued to love my abuser, and can forgive them now, aspects of my inner child need help, guidance, direction regarding how to let this go.

I am thankful to Reiki, and to all who have encouraged me to follow this path in life, I know I have to finally let go of the hurts I've held on to at a cellular level. I am ready to stop punishing myself, for someone else's very poor choice.

I think a lot of us have been violated in this way; by someone we trusted, and we have hurt ourselves because we didn't really understand that it wasn't our fault. And if you can relate to this in some way, then I urge you to do some deep introspecting, meditating, and realizing that this isn't your fault. None of us ever ask to be hurt, abused, misused, molested, beaten, mistreated.

That someone would do so to another person is a sign of their own sickness, and lack of understanding of love. To hold that pain within ourselves, and hold ourselves responsible for the actions of someone else, well it's to basically keep letting that abuse happen, again and again, and again...

Right now, in this moment, I am exhausted, yet relieved. I don't know how I will feel in five minutes, or five days, but in this moment, I am ok.

Senseless Human Suffering: Being A Part of the Solution

There is so much going on in the world around us, it's so easy to get caught up in it all; to be swept away in the currents of society, and the endless parade of pain and loss and fear which is sweeping across the planet at this time.

I turn on the news and I see what is going on in the Middle East and my heart aches, as I think about the innocent lives being lost, wasted, thrown away, and quickly I feel my energy lower itself, and then I become depressed, and begin to operate from a very dense level of consciousness.

This is natural, and to those of us who are extremely empathic it is simply part of our own personal challenge, to remain neutral, centered, and focused on the positive all around ourselves.

I so easily get caught up in my own anguish over what goes on in the world every day, and when I pin point the tragedies and travesties humanity endures I simply feel so desolate and lost. It is so easy to forget that it is our own free will, collectively and individually, which has brought us to this place we currently hold.

And so I remind myself, and hopefully anyone reading this who feels the way I so often feel, that the best thing any of us can do is to stay grounded, centered, and in the moment. When we get caught up in global storms of ego, power, tyranny and cataclysm it simply drains us of our energy, and leads to illness, and despondency. And brooding over that which happens in the world will certainly not change it, will it...

While we may not be able to change the reality others are living in at this time, and that can lead to a great deal of aggression and unresolved anger within ourselves, it is vital that we all remember that we have within our grasps the ability to channel positive energy and thoughts towards those situations and people.

It is possible to be in the storm - watch it rage all around us, and still remain centered, within the eye of the hurricane, so that we can remain rational, compassionate, observant, and accessible to those around us who need us.

I fall into despondency so easily, as I am so extremely empathetic, and literally feel the pain, sorrow, anguish and loss of others. When I watch the news, or read an article about yet another bombing, or downed airplane, or act of terrorism, my throat chakra locks up and tears well in my eyes and I feel so damned helpless, and that is the hardest thing for me to bear; not being able to do anything to help those people on Earth who so desperately need help!

And yet, if I take a moment to breathe, center, focus, and reach higher within myself to a place of wisdom and Light, I realize that I can help, by simply sending my love, my blessings, my ardent prayers and positive energy. My warring ego spits angry venomous thoughts through my mind, raging at these notions, feeling as though it is not enough! And yet my Higher sense of Self assures me that it is all I can do, all many of us can do, and it is worth more than we may at first think.

While thinking positive thoughts, or praying will not feed a hungry child, or stop a gunman from murdering a helpless victim before him, it is better than feeling like a victim ourselves, or slipping into feelings of rage, revenge, polarized notions of an eye for an eye vengeance. When we get lost in the storm and begin to feel whipped this way and that, and lose sight of our own sense of peace and stability, then we become a part of the problem. And none of us want to be a part of the problem.

So while we can't physically become a solution regarding so many of the big pressing heart wrenching issues on Earth, we can maintain equilibrium at home, in our society and community. We can quietly maintain loving compassionate feelings which we can share with those around us, and as ripples on a pond, watch those energies slowly move around the world.

I became so angry earlier yesterday morning, as I read an article about the ceasefire in Gaza not even lasting a whole day, and I saw a woman comment on the article, saying if everyone prayed on their Rosary beads, the war would end. I literally felt like smashing my laptop to bits on the ground, her comment evoked such a visceral sense of raw fury within me, as I envisioned countless do-gooder people praying together to stop genocide, and it made me feel so useless, meaningless, empty.

Yet later, as I thought on it, and I did, as my thoughts kept circulating around the ire I felt within me at this woman's words, I realized I was being part of the problem in that moment. I was sending so much negative and harmful thought energy towards a notion which made me feel helpless. Here this woman had felt so strongly in her own beliefs as a Catholic that she shared a bit of positivity, and I had responded by feeling angry towards her, and her notion, and indeed her entire religion.

That gave me great pause. She was trying to be a solution, in whatever small degree I deemed it to be, and I was not only judging her, but judging humanity in such a negative light. While I do not think billions of people rubbing rosary beads and praying will bring an end to the aggression in the middle east at this time, I also know that belittling that notion is surely as pointless as engaging in the war itself. I felt ashamed of myself.

So I meditated, and I prayed in my own way, and I came full circle back to the place where I always end up, after feeling anger, aggression, and confusion within myself; I came back to Love.

While I cannot hop on a plane, fly to Israel, and physically save the lives of every Jew and Arab engaged in this conflict, I can pray for them, and I can be hopeful for them, and I can look into ways I can help in my community. I can see if the Red Cross has relief efforts I can in some way assist with. I can see if writing politicians will hold any value. I can make efforts to resist this war in a way which does not resist my sense of Self, and Peace.

So I exhaled, and I calmed the raging mama Bear I am deep inside my ego, and I shrugged off my own immense hubris. I am in the eye of the storm again, and I'm sure the winds will whip up around me again in the future, and I'll find myself raging in the storm, feeling thoughts purely negative, detrimental, and pointless again, and when that happens I will again come full circle. It's what I do. It is what we do, as a species - we fumble towards ecstasy.

While prayer, and positive thinking may seem banal and pointless to many, and I can understand too well that feeling of "what are they thinking?!", I also feel and know deep within me, that it is so much more healing to send feelings of love, light, and prayer to those who are suffering on this planet, than to feel pity, apathy, and desolation.

So perhaps you'll join me, in a few silent moments of prayer at this time. Nothing fancy, nothing predetermined, just take a moment, to close your eyes, focus on humanity, and send love to each man, woman and child on Earth right now. Every single one, regardless of age, race, creed, religion, or background. Send love to the terrorists, and the terror-stricken. Send love to those who abuse their power, and those abused by others in power. Send love, and pray for wisdom, serenity, and release from aggression and hatred.

It surely has to be more productive than raging over the injustices in the world.

In Love,

Ego & Communication: Lost in Translation

Did you ever try to tell someone something, or share something with someone, and instead of talking about the thing you wanted to talk about you end up having a ridiculous argument which spirals out of control, gets personal, and ends in confusion?

Chances are, ego stepped in and hijacked your discussion.

I talked about this type of issue a bit in the Spiritual High Horse post I made in 2011. The issue addressed there was how often times Spiritualists can let their Spiritual Ego take the lead, unwittingly speaking from a place of delusion instead of simple Love or Peace.

I'd urge you to familiarize yourself with the concepts of the Ego, and the Spiritual Ego, to truly understand our multi-faceted selves, and how we often lie to not only others, but essentially ourselves. 

You see, we are beings who operate on a few different levels, at all times. Our ego is our sense of identity as a Human being. The psyche is the deeper sub-conscious Self that usually expresses itself through dreams, or deep introspection. The Higher Self is your Soul, which you connect to through your Crown Chakra, and is the truest most authentic version of You on a Universal and Spiritual level. The Spiritual Ego is a savvy aspect of our normal ego, and it follows our journey of self-aware Awakening each and every step of the way.

The Ego seeks to protect itself, and all it feels is valuable and essential to it's survival. In this way you can call the Ego the "False Self" as it really is the by-product of the material world, and has been created, and conditioned by the people and culture around it. I talked about Deprogramming the Mind previously, and in essence that pertains to realizing that who we have "become" as a self-aware individual on Earth is largely due to all we've been subjected to, taught, and steered towards by others in our world. You aren't born with an Ego, it is in the formative years that one begins to develop, as "yours" and "mine" becomes crystal clear to a little mind, that is so much like a sponge. We begin to understand that there are certain ways to behave which are "good" and others which are "bad" and as a result our world begins to guide our values, morality, and personality as a result.

But that personality is not who you really are.

You are Light, water, carbon, and energy, and at the core of your creative brilliance is Love. That is what we all share in common - our Souls, which all originate from the same source of Light in the Universe - we are beings of Light and of Love.

But on Earth, our connection to our truth is only accessed through raising our vibration to a higher level, to be able to connect to our Over Soul through an Ascended state of being. Ascension is simply an upwards rise to a higher vibrating frequency. The Soul is brilliant and vibrates at a rate of speed which the lower level density of 3Dimensional reality simply can't accommodate. To be at One with your Higher Self, to receive messages of inspiration, to connect to Divinity you must accept a higher rate of frequency within you.

This can be achieved quite easily through deep breathing (meditation) or peaceful receptivity. Often, when engaged in activity that brings calm and peace, ones energy level raises upwards and we find ourselves feeling the inspired and fertile energy of our Soul. This can happen in Church, or listening to music, while reading, or being in nature. Anything that touches our heart can raise our energy to a higher state of being. And that is where the truth of the Self resides.

But what of the Ego? 

The ego isn't to be feared, or disliked. It is simply to be understood, and then mastered. To master your ego takes lots of time, patience, and detachment. I am nowhere near mastering my ego. It simply swells up at times and takes over and soon enough I find myself completely removed from where I intended to be, because Ego has derailed my plans with it's own hungry, ambitious agenda. Ego loves attention, and Ego loves being right! And I am so guilty of letting my Ego seek it's own glory and validation - often!

This puts a real monkey wrench into my plans when I try to share knowledge or wisdom with another person. My intention is always to help, to illuminate, to lend a helping hand. And usually if I keep my motives in check, and breathe, and keep Spirit vibrating within my intentions I am able to reach others through my words, or my deeds.

But I'm human, as we all are, and from time to time I stick my Ego's foot in my big mouth, and end up making a mess of a well intended idea!

An example of this happened just yesterday, on Facebook (where else?) as I shared a link to an article about a 1500 year old Bible found in Turkey which denies that Jesus was crucified. I have never resonated with the idea that Jesus was anything other than a brilliantly gifted Lightworker, or Prophet. This Bible emphasizes that, demonstrating Jesus as a mortal man, blessed by God, rather than being the son OF God - who was gifted with healing powers, as well as psychic talents, in order to help draw the children of Israel into Unity in a monotheistic (One - God) ideology.

In short, I find this new discovery intriguing, and wanted to share it! Well an acquaintance wasn't pleased with it, got defensive, and ended up unfriending and blocking me!

My immediate reaction was "boy, she must really have shaky faith to let a post on someone else's wall upset her so!"

My secondary reaction was "Boy, I really could have responded to her in a gentler and more patient way..."

I never said anything mean to her, I simply shared my beliefs, but in my often cool analytic delivery I likely caused her to feel alienated.  I felt deflated, and essentially felt a sense of loss, as I realized I'd had an opportunity to really engage this woman, and I'd failed.

And I realized, that yet again Ego had surreptitiously snuck into my responses to her, and I'd let it happen, and I'd lost a chance to have a truly illuminating moment with someone who deep within feels threatened by my rather unconventional beliefs. The weight of this failure sat heavy on my Heart.

You see, while I didn't say anything harmful to her, and I kept my response neutral and clinical in order to approach the topic from a place of pure science and data, I did something I realize I've been doing for a while without realizing it! When it comes to talking to hard core ultra-conservative Christians and Catholics, I get defensive. I expect to be looked at as a Pagan sinner in their eyes. I expect them to abandon reason in sight of their deeply held beliefs. I expect a breach in communication to occur simply because that is what often has happened in my experience.

I myself have been scripting a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

I apologize to every single person who has ever felt alienated by me in a religious discussion. While I may come off as cool headed, and fact based, the truth is, I have trust issues. And that isn't your doing - it is my issue to work through, and resolve.

While it is my highest and most humble desire to share knowledge with others, and help people keep an open mind, I immediately lower my own vibration and intent by putting up a wall and approaching these subjects with defenses in tact.

Because I've been embroiled in religious arguments in the past, I have adopted a very cool calculated sense of communication when it comes to religion - it simply feels safer to be remote, fact based, and rational in this type of scenario. But I do no one any good when I am letting my Ego divert the discussion.

So I accept this lesson, and I'm grateful to have finally figured it out. I don't know how many people I have made feel "less than" in religious discussions, but from this day out I intend to speak from my Heart as much as from my Head where personal beliefs are concerned. I will stop expecting to be misjudged based on my own personal beliefs. And I will stop assuming that every Christian or Catholic I meet is judging me out of the gates for not sharing their beliefs.

Do you see how Ego operates?

This is why it is imperative to be very honest with yourself on a journey of Awakening. Self-awareness is the most necessary ingredient on the table my friend; for if you can't be honest with yourself, then you're lying to everyone.

There is no harm in accepting there are aspects of who we are that are malignant at times. It's not a sign of weakness, or even a sin - we are physical beings on a heavy energy planet, dealing with our various senses of Self in a world where everyone else wants to shape our morality. It's bound to happen from time to time; ego will trick you and you'll never understand that ego is at the wheel - until you're ready to.

Even the best intentions can be laid asunder by a raging Ego.

Let us all attempt to be more honest with ourselves, about who we are, and who we really Are. And then maybe we can come together and communicate from the Heart, while letting down our walls of defense, and just make connections instead of messes.

Karma: Can You Live With It?

Over the years I've seen people refer to karma in various ways, and it's clear that the general public isn't really aware of exactly what karma is, what it's function is, and how it's created. I would like to dedicate this entry to dispelling some myths, clarifying the concepts of karma, and also discussing how karma is a very powerful tool which must be viewed with honesty during ones own journey of awakening.

Let's start by understanding what karma is, and by contrast, what it is not.

Karma is a an ancient sanskirt word, originating from the word "kamma" which means "action" "word" or "deed". The concept of Karma originated in ancient India, with Hindu's, Buddhists and other Eastern Philosophies. The idea of karma is that ones own actions, words, or deeds are creative on an energetic level as well as physically, and that what you do, think, or say is put out into the Universe as an energetic creative force, and it will then draw back to you energy of a similar state of vibration.

To better understand this, let's look at Karma as a Universal law, such as Gravity, the law of attraction, or relativity; for this is exactly what Karma is. Karma is the natural law of "as above, so below", in that what you do, think, or say on an Earthly level (Below) also enacts itself on a higher level (above).

What Karma Isn't:

Now we must dispell a few myths attached to the concept of Karma, before going further. I see people talk about karma as though it is a person, or an entity, referring to it as some righteous law keeper who rewards the good and punishes the wicked. Karma is not a person, or an entity of any sort. Karma has no conscience or consciousness; Karma is a principle put in place in this free will universe which is tied very closely to duality. We live in a reality which is built upon the principles of duality; you understand that every action has its reaction; and that all things have their mirror. Up is always mirrored by down, happy has it's counterpart in sad, even life is mirrored by death. Duality is the way this universe is set in to motion, so that our every experience can be fully appreciated by knowing it's similarity and its opposite. This is a learning tool which is invaluable to every soul alive; we could never truly appreciate the lush and wondrous sensations of Love and Peace unless we had something opposite by which to compare them to. So to better understand Love and Peace we get to experience loneliness, abandonment, and anxiety or chaos. This is duality. And for such a system of duality to work fundamentally it must be governed by a law which acts as a system of checks and balances; and this law is Karma.

You understand now that Karma is not a person, or a being with a consciousness; indeed it is simply a law of physics, much like gravity. It exists to measure our every action, word, and thought and then deliver us a result, or consequence so that we can fully learn about what we have put forward into the world. If you say something hurtful to someone, that will have a consequence; the tenets of Karma dictate that what you put out will return to you equally. Neo-Pagans and Wiccan's talk about the threefold rules of Karma, and suggest that what you put forth will return to you three-fold. I tend to disregard this type of thinking, as the law does not seem to favor taxing you times 3 on any of what you put out into the world. So let's look at Karma as a system by which what you put out you will receive back an equal amount of reaction, response, or consequence.

As Karma is a law of the Universe it is not biased, it has no favorites, in fact it is not invested in your words, deeds or actions. Human beings like to personify things like Karma in order to feel validated, but the truth is Karma isn't personal on any level, it is a natural law of energetic give and take.

How Karma Works?

Now that we understand what Karma is not, and truly see that it is a simple Universal law of balance, we can explore how Karma works. And it's really very simple to be honest, and won't require much explanation on my part; Karma gives back to you what you give away. If you do something kind, that goes into the Universe as positive energy, which will shine back to you in some way in your life. If you do something unkind, that goes into the Universe as negative energy, which will also shine back to you in some way in your life.

It's important at this point to note, this is not a system of reward and punishment!! Karma is not about rewarding the good and punishing the wicked; it is a tool by which we can grow, by reaping the rewards or results of our previous words, actions and thoughts. What better way to learn about how what we do affects the Universe energetically, than to have it affect us energetically as well?

Karma is active always; it is a constant law, and is at work in your life every second of every day. Now, being that it is a Universal Law, much like the Law of Attraction, it is wired up to your inner world, and your inner dialogue.

As with the Law of Attraction, you can say nice kind flowery things about someone, yet think negatively about them, and both Laws will disregard what you've said, and go to what you have thought - this is because this is where the truth of your energy is present. It is your deepest truth within that activates any Universal Law.

How to Keep Karma Positive?

Honestly you can't keep your Karma positive, the point is not to manipulate Karma, or change it. Karma isn't set in place to make you try to behave; it exists to help you change from the inside out. And that change can only come through experience, self-awareness, honesty, and ardently trying to become the highest and brightest version of yourself that you can.

So rather than trying to keep your Karma positive, focus on being a kinder and gentler person. The ways you can affect your Karma are so simple; follow your intuition. Intuition is a direct link to your Higher Self, or your Soul. And your Soul always knows what is best; Love. When in doubt, ask yourself "what would love do?" If you respond from that place of Love within you then you can be sure your Karma will be balanced.

Making Conscious Choices & Living With It

So now that we have a better understanding of Karma, as a Universal Law of balance and equanimity, we can talk about living with the results of your actions, thoughts, and words. There will always be opportunities in this world to react out of anger, or sadness, or jealousy etc, and while most of the time I would say "turn the other cheek" and just let it go, there are times when you just have to express your negative feelings in order to stand up for something or some one, or to make a point, or defend yourself or a loved one. We can't always turn the other cheek and sometimes you have to do something which will undoubtedly turn your Karma into the negative. If you are aware of this, and have weighed your options, consulted your intuition, prayed about it, and still feel you must stick by your convictions, then you must ask yourself "can I live with the Karmic results of this?"

And you must understand, Karma works in mysterious ways, and the cost could be anything from a "bad day" to an illness, or some great loss in your life. Depending on what you put out there, what you receive back could be life changing. So always be certain you are prepared to receive your Karma, before you do anything which will draw any negative Karma back to you.

Karma seems to work at it's own pace too; sometimes Karma plays out quickly, other times it seems to take ages. In fact lots of Karmic debts play out over several lifetimes. Depending on the amount of harm you've caused, you may carry Karma over into the next life, in order to truly learn from the negativity you have caused and expressed to the Universe.

So instead of worrying about what your Karma may be in the future, work towards clearing your Karma in the now.

How do you do this?

Get Honest, Humble, and Aware.

Sometimes you can clear your Karma with a simple heart felt apology. But giving that apology must come from a place of humility within you, where you realize you've caused harm. It is best to always follow your heart; if you've treated someone with less care than you'd like to be treated, perhaps you should take the time to right that wrong. It's best to always act from Love, as opposed to letting your ego feel "right". Most acts of negative Karma come from the ego itself, and it's need to be the center of attention, it's need to be right and validated and revered. But we know that the ego is an illusion; it is a false self which we build up around us in this very mundane world of petty insecurity. The ego wants more, whereas Love wants to express itself. So express yourself honestly, with the highest intentions of giving love, and creating positivity all around you, and if you've done or said something in your life which you regret; make amends. And don't do this to make your Karma different; do it because it is simply what Love would do.

The next time you wish someones Karma upon them, remember that Karma is always at work, in their lives, and in yours. Karma reacts to our deepest thoughts, and our every action, so instead of focusing on how so-and-so needs a good dose of Karma, focus on yourself, and what you're putting out there. If you can live with yourself, chances are your Karma will be good. If guilt eats at you in some way, it's a good time to start making a humble attempt to make things right between yourself, and anyone you've hurt, in any way.

With that said, I wish you the deepest Love that is within you - may it blossom through your every deed, word, and thought. With abiding Love,