The New Age Movement; Confessions of a Recovering Dogma-holic

Like so many of us on the journey of Spirituality and awakening, I explored various religions and beliefs in my first few decades on Earth; I had a deep passionate desire to better understand the Universe, my place in it, and the "why" which connects all living things. My first foray into God territory was into the Christian church, which I freely attended as a child, until I was 16 years old. I was lucky to have been raised by parents who allowed me the space and freedom to explore Spirituality at my own pace. My mother could well be described as a recovering Cathoholic; raised in a Polish Catholic home in the middle of the 20th century, she attended Catholic school, and experienced all of the dogma attached to that particular sect. Her hands were lashed with rulers by strict nuns, she took Catechism class, performed penance and gave regular confession. When I expressed a desire at an early age to go to Christian church, she told me I was welcome to go, but asked me to always keep an open mind. She was disenchanted by the dogma she faced growing up Catholic, and she did not wish to see her daughter become bogged down by the moral rulings of others based on what she felt were antiquated scriptures, and thousand year old writings.

I eventually fell out of sync with Christianity, as I got older, and began to understand dogma in a much more personal and far less academic way. When faced with the "absolute truths" the Christian church doled out, certain aspects did not sit well within me, and when I would question authority figures in the church, such as a youth pastor named Will for example, I was chastised, and never given plausible answers to my questions.

In short, I began to understand what my mother had meant, as I was seeing so many rules within the religion itself, and yet very few people adhering to those rules Monday through Saturday.

I decided God as I wanted to understand Him had to be far superior to the God I was being taught about in church; that he would be so ingenious as to grant his creation free will, and yet so critical as to judge His children for using that free will struck me as hypocrisy. Surely, God had more depth, and was capable of far more patience and love?

I spent the next decade or so exploring less mainstream belief systems, learning what interested me about various belief systems, ranging from Mormonism, to Buddhism, always gleaning valuable aspects of each faith, and yet always finding myself standing at a remarkable impasse in the end; the wall of dogma.

The rebellious nature within me wanted to get a better understanding of Spirituality, and my creator, and it seemed that no matter what I studied or examined, there was always some absolute law, or rule that just didn't sit well in my heart and mind.

Then I discovered the New Age movement, and what a revelation it was for me!

I found books and articles about subjects like out of body experiences, astral projection, channeling, and ascension, and I felt at One with what I was learning, uncovering, and discovering. It was very much like a home-coming for me, and my twenties and thirties found me cultivating a deeper sense of Spirituality through alternative arts, the occult, and the New Age movement which was sweeping across the planet in waves of beautiful expressiveness.

For a time, a long while, I felt free. The liberation I felt within the open-minded Spirituality I was exploring was so all encompassing for me, and for the first time in my life I felt as though I had found tid-bits and portions of a Truth so great, that it had to be right!

I had been reading Tarot cards for years, as well as runes, I-Ching, and crystals, as well as performing chakra cleansing's, body energy sessions, and Shamanic Voyages, and eventually I found myself transitioning from the student, into the role of teacher. And I glorified in this new aspect of my self-aware journey of Spirituality. I spent quite a few years guiding others, providing what I still refer to as Spiritual facilitation; or counselling. I was hosting the worlds most popular website for Awakening Starseeds, and Spirit seemed to be sending so many newly awakening souls to me for guidance, affirmation and direction.

As I settled into a very comfortable life of professionally reading Tarot, and offering Spiritual guidance to those who came seeking, I experienced a deep peace within me that I had never known previously. I spent the first decade of the new millennium living my joy, walking in harmony with nature, my Spirit guides, the Universe, and those around me who were also on their own individual path of Ascension and awakening.

Then, as it always will when one becomes too comfortable, the rug was pulled out from under me.

It wasn't one particular experience which led to a disassembling of my beliefs and assuredness in those beliefs, but rather a series of events which seemed to roll into one another, like a snowball gathering momentum, growing as it picked up speed. My online communities began to become argumentative, and were regularly being infiltrated by what are commonly referred to as "trolls", and I spent so much time trying to accomodate the needs of my valued long standing members, while still offering a safe haven to new members, that I tried literally everything I could think of to maintain a democratic, open, and fair community for the thousand plus members. But a revolution was brewing, and as my dearest friends and moderators and assistants unwittingly (or wittingly, who knows?) brought about a full blown mutiny, I began to crack under pressure, and made a series of choices over a year long period (or longer) which eventually lead to the community becoming a ghost town.

I removed the Awakening Starseeds website at this time, as I felt I was being pulled in so many directions, and was feeling victimized by the drama I was feeding into myself, and my Spiritual sense of identity began to unravel, unbeknownst to me until later...

Then my father passed away, 8 years ago, and I buried myself in the things that brought me peace and contentment, as I was losing my grip on my center and state of connection to Spirit. I began to withdraw into the old books, the old channelings, all of the materials which had piqued my curiosity many years beforehand, in an attempt to reclaim the feelings which had brought me so much joy in the beginning of my own Awakening.

And the downward spiral continued.

And it wasn't until I hit Spiritual rock bottom, and took a very long and critical look in the mirror, that I realized the folly of all I had been, done, and desired.

The New Age movement began with such pure and beautiful energy, and it created unity, and drew people together in the spirit of gratitude, celebration, and kindred soul family vibrations. Yet, at some point as the movement gained momentum, it shifted, and the energy became heavier, and more 3 Dimensional. And all of the things we were trying to transcend in our desire to break apart the old paradigm, had suddenly become the tenets of the movement themselves.

The trailblazers who had begun to truly spread the messages in the late 1980's, were making millions, and falling back into denser energy, becoming wrapped up in the illusion they were creating, rather than truly growing. And I believe that many of us who were actively trying to make a cosmic shift on planet Earth by raising the vibration to a higher dimensional state of Love and Oneness became confused, and instead of staying motivated in the moment to give, heal, and help, we were creating new dogmas, new absolute rules of engagement, and our ego's were working overtime to justify it, so that we could continue to pat ourselves on the head as though everything were still on track.

But it wasn't on track. 

The New Age movement lost momentum a few years ago. 

The monthly channelling's by beings such as Michael, Raphael, and Seth began to be just the "same old same old", spouting out rhetoric, having run out of anything original or truly inspiring to say.

Only a core few of the authors and trail blazers are still publishing new books regularly, mostly thanks to Oprah and her money making spirituality machine. People like Neale Donald Walsch, and Steve Rother began to sound batty, where previously they had truly BEEN enlightened souls of pure Light energy. And while there are still innovators out there who are definitely in it to win it, and haven't lost sight of the greatest truth within their hearts, they are few and far between. The only one I bother to read any longer is Wayne Dyer. And even he is repeating himself lately.

It's all been said, and done, and a lot of money was made, a lot of fads were marketed, and a lot of new rules were created. And in the end, it's wound up becoming one of the most confusing movements this planet has likely ever seen.

Why? Because now there are literally thousands upon thousands of people saying things like "namaste" to one another, who likely don't know the Mudra one uses while using the Hindu greeting. They refer to the Elohim, as though they are Ascended beings of Light, and not ancient Angels first referenced by Hebrew scripture. They talk about some magical Starseed named Adonai, not knowing that Adonai is actually another word ancient Hebrews used to reference the Holiest of Holies.

Basically, the New Age movement saw a bunch of innovating free thinking radical Indigo children follow their intuition by deciding it was time to raise the vibration of this planet, to slough off heavy 3D patriarchal energy, in order to bring about the revolution known as the Age of Aquarius. But what it ended up becoming is a mish-mash of ancient Pagan, Druidic, Hebrew, Christian, Sumerian, and science fiction (Roddenberry) scripture, lore, and cuneiform.

If you're still holding on to the old philosophies and ideals of the movement, ask yourself why? Consider the rules it consists of now, as opposed to 27 years ago, and the people profiting from it while you buy every book you can get your hands on about manifestation, or positive thinking.

I was a New Age Dogma-holic, for a long while, until it stopped serving me; until it stopped reverberating as "right" within me. Now, I am mostly label free, as I don't know where I stand truly. In a way I feel like a person who has been in a fall out shelter for about 50 years, after the big bomb dropped, coming out to survey the land for the first time. What I see is foreign to me, nothing is familiar, all that was has fallen away, and now makes no sense. So my instincts and intuition guide me to do what humanity does when something comes to it's natural end: start fresh.

If I must label myself, I'm going to type it in big bold face and tape it to my forehead for all to see: Spiritual Rebel.

The rules we've created, about what a spiritualist must eat, think, and surround themselves with in order to Ascend to 5th Dimensional awareness and density no longer apply for me. I don't think they apply to anyone. I consider the movement a grand experiment; and the experiment is over. And guess what?

It was successful.

We have spent the better part of the last 50 years birthing a grass roots movement, which brought us together in unity, in love, in a shared desire to know ourselves on a deeper and more meaningful level. We learned how to meditate, which is a skill any sentient being really owes it to themselves to possess. We sought to understand the physics of the Universe through the laws of Attraction, Karma, and Duality on Earth. We have expanded our consciousness, and explored our Chakra's, we understand that those wheels of light that spin on our Astral body are directly related to our physical body via our glands and vascular systems, and we better understand our overall health as a result. 

And most of all, we have learned that we have free will to do as we desire, and if something ends up going in a direction we didn't anticipate or desire, we can start fresh. 

As for the rules of the New Age movement? Hit delete my friends. Refresh. Return to Go and throw the dice again. The game is ready to begin anew, each moment, each day, each breath you take. So let's let the dogma off it's chain, throw it a bone, and then gather and have a go at the next New movement together. Let's keep perfecting our community consciousness and co-creation together, and good Goddess, let's keep making mistakes together, because those have taught us so much more than any singing bowl, or moldavite pendant, or any other pretty bauble ever could.

I Love You.